Hollywood Black Film Festival 2009

I’m not a person who cries much, but I cried mightily last night. I’m actually looking through tears as I type this; his videos still playing in the background. It’s been just about 24 hrs since the official expiration and I hate to add to the litany of these types of notes and “dedication letters” that we will see in the next few days, but this is more for me than it is for you. I have to release this…it’s part of the most-dreaded “process”…

I knew this day would come. I’d actually thought about how I would handle this when it happened many times. I knew I would play his music non-stop from the moment I heard the news till I fell asleep as some sort of pseudo tribute to him, but it just hasn’t been enough to calm my fever. I just didn’t figure it to be so tragically shocking. I figured there would be some warning, some semblance of failing health, some time to prepare for the inevitable, but this just came out of nowhere, on the verge of a scheduled comeback no less! That’s why this is so tough to swallow and why I continue to hurt…

Anyone who knows me knows that I live and breath music. I was introduced to the arts through music (as a child listening to the library of 45’s my dad kept in the living room), and if I was gifted that way, that’s what I would be doing. Music flows through me and is a major part of my soul. I honestly feel like a part of my soul, a part connected to my childhood, died yesterday with him.

My mother introduced me to him; a wild fanatic for him and his four brothers. Her trained eye knew talent when she saw it, and instantly gravitated to the “little cutey” who serenaded and entertained crowds of people from a very young age. By the time I came along, the brothers were near the end of their legendary reign, and he was about to release his first solo album. As a matter of fact, the very first piece of music I owned was his very first solo release, “Off the Wall” (mom got me the vinyl album on my 3rd birthday and I STILL have it…UNSCRATCHED!). Little did I know, that this man mom introduced me to would have such a profound impact on my childhood and my life in general.

The man was a TRUE artist; a gift from the Creator sent here to do exactly what he did: to entertain, inspire and to change the world as it was through his art and gifts. In the history of this genre of art, the combination of his vocal, writing, dancing, and overall artistic talents HAVE NEVER BEEN MATCHED. These types of gifts, so far advanced from the norm, come with a price, and he definitely paid it. Most of us would not be able to last even an hour in his shoes with the sacrifices he was forced to make due to his divine blessings. All the things he missed out on, all the “normalities” you and I share, were null and void in his world because of what he was blessed with. This was the curse in the blessing. Even the very industry he helped lift to new, groundbreaking heights cast him out and shunned him in his later days due to things in and out of his control. However, through it all, he continued to be TRUE TO HIS PURPOSE, and he carried out his divine directives no matter the circumstance. He poured out so much love and never got back anything close to equal value. The scales were always unbalanced, never getting back even a 10th of what he gave, yet, he never stopped giving us treasures that will stay with us FOREVER!

As with all legends, he didn’t just take his gifts as they were, he cast them into the fire, he molded them, he pushed them to the limit, the perfected them. His dedication to developing his gifts, the countless hours in the studio/writing room/dancefloor/on-stage/on-camera perfecting his art, and the ability to transform his art into something that inspires, “lifts-up”, and encourages others is something I strive to accomplish to this day. I have admired him for these qualities all my life, and will continue to push myself to reach the levels he did and beyond. His art will continue to inform my art as it always has..until I’m gone from this Earth.